My early married years were far from peaceful.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, disrespect for my husband was the cause. 

I often thought that if only my husband would change A or stop doing B, our marriage would be just fine. I rarely looked deep within myself for the reason for the chaos.

 

My respect or disrespect comes out of my heart and my soul. It is about my character and has almost nothing to do with what my husband does or does not do.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

Have you ever thought that if only your husband would do things your way, the way that makes sense to you, everything would be great?

Like many young married women, I had a vision of how things ought to be, how my dear husband should respond, and was bitterly disappointed when none of it would fit into my pre-determined proper place.

 

I didn’t realize there was any other way to think than my way. I left no room or grace for him to be masculine and to think, feel, and process like a man, or to be himself with his own unique personality.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

I didn’t understand the correlation, in those early fretful years, between respecting my husband’s leadership role and trusting God.

But this is true: until we can trust God that His ways are right, honoring our husband’s leadership without fear is next to impossible.

 

A wife’s willingness to submit to her husband may be one of the biggest tests of her faith in Christ.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

As a new wife, I didn’t consciously choose to disrespect my husband. But with my subtle resistance and outright complaints, that is, indeed, what I did.

I was more concerned with preserving myself and less on trusting God, and submitting was a scary proposition. I was essentially holding back a little part of myself from God and my husband.

I didn’t know it then, but I was making myself and my fear of submission an idol. I was making that more powerful in my life than God.

I was tearing down my house with my own hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

 

We don’t lose power and influence when we obey God’s word…the only power we lose is our sinful power to destroy, tear down, and harm.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

Respecting our husband’s God-given authority is crucial to a happy home and a peaceful heart.

But many of us were not raised to recognize what respect to husbands should look like. We were taught by the media, our peers, and sometimes even our own mothers, to disrespect men.

We later used sulky pouting, overt shouting, and other forms of manipulation to deal with our fear, anxiety, and worry as wives.

 

But if our husbands are going to become more loving, selfless, and godly, our path to get to that place is for us to begin to obey God first.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

When respect becomes our first response to our husbands, the foundation for peace and harmony in our marriage is set.

 

when we willingly submit to our husbands, what we are doing first and foremost is submitting to God.

 

This yielding to God and His truth is the key to becoming a peaceful wife.

The Peaceful Wife by April Cassidy is a book for any wife The Peaceful Wife {a book review}searching for that missing key. Her book’s main focus is in the tagline of her book: Living in Submission to Christ as Lord. 

Because when we purposefully seek to find our contentment in Christ alone,

…there is so much freedom, joy, and peace. We can choose to accept our husbands as they are and release them and ourselves from the prison of all our assumptions and expectations.

—The Peaceful Wife

 

With chapter headings like: Finding the Missing Piece of the Puzzle, God’s Beautiful Design, My Husband Shares His Heart (where April interviews her own husband), and Learning the Language of Respect, April not only shares her testimony, but showcases the stories of several other wives as they embark on their journey of change.

The Peaceful Wife is peppered with checklists and questions to challenge us in how we think about our husbands, ourselves, and our marriage, while covering the gamut of what biblical submission is and is not.

April is clear to point out that the quest for peace in our marriage will be unique and cannot be achieved by following a set of cookie-cutter rules.  Every husband is different, therefore how we show respect will look different within each and every marriage.

 



 

One of the things I found interesting in April’s book is found on page 54. As she began her peace-seeking journey, she wrote down all the beliefs she held about God, marriage, her husband, and herself–the wrong self-talk and ungodly ‘fixed beliefs’–things she believed for so long she believed them to be true. She then studied the Bible carefully, comparing her beliefs with what the Bible actually said.

Discovering the truths of Scripture were the keys to transforming her faulty fixed beliefs to align with God’s life-giving, peace-giving truths.

I first ‘met’ April in early 2013 at http://www.thepeacefulwife.com while searching for godly marriage sites.The Peaceful Wife, Author April Cassidy Although, at this point in my marriage her teachings were not new, her words resonated with me nonetheless and I devoured every post she had written.

It was refreshing to find a place that built up marriage, explained godly submission, and focused on the ‘how’ of becoming a peaceful wife. Her humble admissions of past failures, and how she turned that around, gave me and her readers a hands-on approach to dealing with our female proclivities of fear, control, and disrespect.

 



 

The Peaceful Wife {a book review} ~ Do you long for peace and harmony in your marriage? It is more than possible when you learn the key. https://vineblossom.wordpress.com

 

The Peaceful Wife: Living in Submission to Christ as Lord will teach the peace-seeking wife that becoming a godly wife is a life-long journey of laying aside her sinful nature, learning to abide in Christ, and allowing Him to have full reign over her heart.

I have been married for over thirty years.
There is no other way for peace than to hold on tight to your husband’s hand, while keeping your face toward the light and Lordship of Christ.

 

For we are members of his {Christ’s} body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:30-31

 

 

Abiding in the Vine,

~ Gleniece

(I did not receive this book in exchange for a review, but willingly sought out this book to share it with all of you.)

 

Please consider leaving me a comment. I would love to get to know you.

 

Would you also consider signing up to receive my posts? That would be such an encouragement to me. Thanks!

 

 

I have linked this post to one of these fine Blog Hops.

The post “The Peaceful Wife {a book review}” was first published on Desert Rain.

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16 thoughts on “The Peaceful Wife {a book review}

  1. This topic requires depth of thought! Many of us cringe at the word “submission.” It may feel like asking to get walked over by others. It sounds like this book sheds some good light on what Godly submission looks like. Thank you for the review. We are not 30 years in yet, but I have also learned that when I am humble (no, my way is not the only right way) and loving (my husband is more important than all the little things we as people usually worry about), I feel at peace. When we both live by these qualities, our home is at peace.

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    1. Dear Marielle, yes, I thoroughly understand your apprehension about submission. I struggled with it for too many years.
      But once we realize that God has an authority structure: God the Father, Christ the Son, Husband, and Wife, it all makes perfect sense. This structure is necessary now, in this life. God is a God of order, not chaos. (There cannot be two bosses in one household!) But this does not make us wives in any way inferior or less important to God. Our husbands have their own burdens to bear. They have their own submission under Christ. With our mutual obedience to the word of God, then comes great peace and many blessings for our marriages.
      Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. May God enrich your understanding and bless your marriage, Marielle.

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  2. Hi Gleniece, it would not be a surprise many of us go in with high hopes, breakfast in bed everyday! which is literally impossible *smiles*. I have learnt in my short journey so far that God’s way of doing marriage is by far better than everything the world prescribes. I am sure this book will be a blessing to many homes. Thanks for sharing about it.
    Hugs and Happy New Year.

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    1. Thank you, Ifeoma. And happy new year to you too!
      Many of us enter marriage having all the wrong expectations, don’t we? But thanks be to God, He has given us a framework to follow.
      Thank you for visiting. Have a lovely day. 🌸

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  3. Sounds like a great book, Gleniece. Will have to look into that one. The longer I’m married, the more I wish I could redo the early years. I’ve been married 24 years and am thankful for the God who sustained us. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your review! And, thanks so much for linking up at the #ChasingCommunity launch! Yay! Happy new year, friend. 🙂

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    1. Yes, don’t I wish I could UNDO a whole lot of my early marriage mistakes. But I’m so thankful God never left us! He saw us through that selfish time.
      God is good.
      Thank you for starting a new link up community, Brenda. Have a happy new year too, my friend.

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  4. Hi Gleniece,
    Oh, how I loved this! One of your closing lines, “There is no other way for peace than to hold on tight to your husband’s hand, while keeping your face toward the light and Lordship of Christ.” Amen! This sounds like a wonderful book that our world definitely needs. Thank you so much for sharing this hope with us at #MomentsofHope ♥ Happy New Year, my friend!!
    Lori

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  5. This post was very convicting, Gleniece! Lately I’ve felt God prompting me to seek out resources that will help me serve and respect my husband. We’ll be married 14 years on Wednesday, and I totally relate to most of what you wrote here. Thanks for sharing your heart and this review!

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    1. Oh, I’m so glad this helped you, Marisa! I wish I had learned these worthy principles of respect much earlier in my marriage. God’s ways are always right and true. There is always a blessing in them. Yet, the world tries to convince us we are missing out. We are fools when we listen, aren’t we?
      Thank you for visiting and for your sweet comment. 🌷

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  6. Oh wow! This was so good! Even after almost 10 years of marriage, this book sounds like it would be a good one to add to my reading list. I’m always looking for ways to help my marriage improve and grow. Thank you for sharing!!

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  7. This book sounds really good, Gleniece. Thank you so much for sharing it. I was fortunate enough early on in my marriage that my sister saw the struggles we were having and being her sister could see it was my lack of respect. She gave me a book that talked about the very issue of respecting you husband and loving him in a godly way. It had really been such a life saver. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. It sounds like you have a godly sister, Jaime. What a blessing that is! I had no one to tell me these things. More than likely, they would have encouraged me to ‘follow my heart’ or some such nonsense. I’m so glad God never let go of the squirming, selfish me, but guided me toward His truth where true peace exists. (There’s a whole lot less squirming going on too!).
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Jaime. Have a beautiful day.

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